Monday, September 14, 2009

Thoughts on the market

Being off the market is weird... it's a new train of thought... like, everyone can be someone's girlfriend, but a fiance? Not everyone can be a fiance.

And that's the great part of being off the market, having that ring on your finger...being someone's, ahem, property, if you will. Maybe not so great a thing?

During a quick, impulsive window-shopping stroll home, I went into a tattoo and piercing parlour to inquire about the cost of getting my navel pierced. Actually, I had my belly button pierced about seven years ago and took it out after one year... now all that remains is an ugly hole that never actually grew over to look like its virgin-self.

"Well, maybe you don't even need to get it repierced...have a seat in the chair and I'll check for you," said the kind gentleman at the piercing station, with about a zillion rings and studs all over his lips, right cheek and stretched out earlobes that you could see through and poke your middle finger through.

I obeyed, stunned and shocked that all this was happening so fast...the guy took a sterile needle out of a package with his gloved hands, dipped it in some lube and entered a tapered needle (tapered, thank goodness!) into my old navel piercing...and to my surprise, it went all the way through!

I was so happy, I plunked down my credit card, bought a cute jeweled barbell and got the guy to pull it through - which hurt much more than the needle since the barbell was much thicker.

"All done! Wow, I'm so excited to go and see how pissed off my boyfriend, er, fiance will be when he sees this!" I exclaimed.

And off I trotted back home, while texting Daddy about the surprise I had for him.

Which brings me to my point. Being someone's property SUCKS. Kinda. In this situation, yeah. Daddy was not impressed to see a barbell in my navel. Of course, that's because he thought I had gotten it piereced. And then his line of a mouth turned into a scrunchie of a mouth when he realized I had fooled him.

"I own you...every part of you're not allowed to get any piercings without my permission," Daddy informed me in his joking, growly voice after I told him I wanted to get my ear pierced like Scarlett Johansson.

"Baby, that'd be a real deal breaker. I'd have to take the ring back and refund it"

"But I'll just wait till it's past its 30 day refund policy and then you can't take it back," I taunted.

"No, I'll just re-sell it".

And that, my friends is why being on the market is less of a headache. At least you can get as many holes put in your body as you please without someone threatening to refund your bling.


  1. Ha! You will never be someone's property lady, you're too fabulous for that.

  2. What??? He totally does not own you and you can get any piercings or tattos you want...cause *I* said so!

  3. That's the grand part of things right? I've had mine in for years and years even before I met my hubby. He tries to pull the you're mine and i dont' like it card. but i've had it for years and years. i look Weird to myself without it now! i dont even show it off, it's just mine. I agree with the others, you aren't Owned. sheesh, men are crazy.

  4. Hmmmm. I have the same belly-situation... I wonder if I could re-do it as easy as that? I'd rather have a piercing than this ugly 5 year old hole!


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