Thursday, May 14, 2009

Taking a sex break

Am not feeling too opinionated today, nothing bugs me and more importantly, I'm not that horny! Very strange, I know especially since there was no sexytime last night.

"Baby please, let Daddy sleep tonight, he's super tired," the bf begged, eyes closed, brows furrowed in anticipation and dear hope of my compliance.

Uh yeah, sure. Daddy-speak totally turns me on (I know, I know...another story for another day, perhaps with a shrink), whathef*&^ was he thinking!? OF COURSE I jumped on him! And after several minutes of wrestling (him wrestling me away from his body and I, wrestling his manly part into whichever receiving part of mine), I tired out. Lack of penile penetration for me is what kryptonite is to Superman. He and I can only fight it for so long before we become weak and pass out and let Lex Luther dominate us. Actually, come to think of it, I totally wouldn't mind spending a night with Kevin Spacey...he's like the sexiest old, balding guy I know. Or maybe it's because I have daddy issues.

Anyway, since i really need to get better and back to my normal self, we struck up a deal this afternoon, a verbal agreement if you will, to abstain from any sexytime for at least three days. Just so both of us can get at least eight hours of sleep to build-up and maintain an unstressed immune system for at least 72 hours. I can't believe I did this, but I actually agreed to it.

"Wow, I can't wait...what will I do to fill up three full days of no sex?", my bf taunted. He then proceeded to list off a slew of movies we have on our Zip list and a handful of video games he's looking forward to renting. I hung-up the phone, feeling a tad frustrated and going over the details of our verbal contract....did I miss something? Are there any loopholes?

And suddenly it hit me. I had to text him my addendum.
Our no sex deal includes masturbating. And if you breach the contract by doing so, then you must only do so in my presence.
I totally thought this was going to work, tricking him into being the first to breach contract, then i could just jump right in. He texted back.
No deal, that's my private one-on-one time. Sorry, but you'll just have to use your imagination.
Ahhrgh.. I can't win with this man! Something about rejection just keeps us girls coming back for more, right? We love the abuse.

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