Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Boys will be boys

I don't know what it is with boys...no matter what age they are, they still manage to regress back into that three-year-old sitting in the sandbox beside you, trying to snatch your pail away from you and hitting you on the head with your own shovel...because he likes you and that's the only way he knows how to express it.

Fast forward 20-something years and throw in a Blackberry and email account and pheromones. Displays of affection have now been upgraded from snatching and beating you with your own belongings to misleading and crude text messages and random hand-drawn pictures in your email. And name calling.

Scenario 1
From my "cousin", the guy I grew up with and have known since we were four-months-old and sat in the same playpen. No, we aren't blood related, but with a history of getting our diapers changed side-by-side and calling each others' parents 'auntie and uncle', I think that qualifies for a family relation.

"Cousin": Congrats on your engagement. Damn, I can't believe I never got a chance!
Me: Thanks..um, what!?
"Cousin": Well you know, before you got engaged, we could've totally hooked up and made my kindergarten dreams come true
Me: Dude, you're my cousin. That's disgusting. I've told you several times, get over it, it's not gonna happen!

Scenario 2
From a friend, a guy I've known for a few years and have worked out the whole "it's better that we're close friends" issue.

Friend: Hey stupiduglyfartface, hows it going?
Me: Good! Whatsup dickwad
Friend: not much, you smell and i can smell it from all the way across the country
Me: Well your ugliness has thrown off my entire day, so go eat moss
Friend: ok well i gotta go. try not to fall in love with an extinct species of moss, fartbrain.

Scenario 3
From another male friend, purely platonic.

Friend: Go check your email account. This is what will happen if you delete your blog
Me: You can't stop me from deleting my blog. I want it to be totally anonymous and now you and eight other people know its me.
Friend: Go check your email account, it'll explain everything.

And this is what I get in my email:



Me: Omg did you just draw this, scan it and email it to me all within a span of three minutes?
Friend: What, you don't like my artwork?
Me: No, i like it, i'm just suprised you did all that just to prove a point.
Friend: I did that last time too, no biggie
Me: Yes, I recall. I thought it was just some random pic you had laying around and sent it on a whim just to prove another meaningless point of yours!

Pic in question:



Tsk, tsk. Boys will be boys.

2 comments:

  1. hilarious..and I totally agree!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Agree whole-heartedly! Forgot all about it until I started dating again...

    ReplyDelete

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