Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Gonads and strife

My boss cheerfully popped into my office this morning and asked how my weekend was.

"It was good. Boring. Same old, same old," I responded back nonchalantly, hoping my answer would drive her away from my office doorway and into her own office.

"Ahhhh," She stood there, raising her chin with a smirk on her face. Clearly, she wanted something.

"And, how was your weekend?" I cheerfully asked, like I knew she was up to something bad and expected her to divulge that she had just had the most amazing 48 hour orgasm with a guy 30 years her junior and did funky things with Twizzlers in between takes.

"I went to see Puppetry of the Penis!"

"Oh my," I exclaimed, partially relieved to hear there wasn't a 48 hour orgasm involved, but also disappointed at that fact.

She went on about how it was just two guys on stage for a full 45 minutes, playing with their penises in different ways and how the crowd was hooting and hollering the whole time. Old people, I thought to myself. How unwholesome it must've been and how sinfully bad they must've felt sitting in a theatre watching grown men toil and tug their balls sacks and flacid dicks around on stage.

"That's actually pretty disgusting if you think about it...it's gotta be really bad for your ball sack," I told Daddy on the drive home from work.

"Why do you say that?"

"Well, it's gotta be. I mean, firstly, most guys can't actually do that they do because most guys have pretty tight ball sacks, I mean, with the exception of a rare few who are hung like horses and have really pliable ball sacks," I casually replied.

Daddy raised an eyebrow while I continued.

"And secondly, can you imagine doing a show like that? Like, five days a week, for a whole month...how much tugging and stretching of the skin is that!? They'll be like saggy old men before they know it and they're probably not even 30!"

"And how do you know most guys have pretty tight ball sacks?" Daddy politely inquired.

"I'm just assuming?" I quietly replied.

"Good, that's what I thought,"

And it was a quietly awkward ride home and for some reason, Gonads and Strife popped into my head during this silent but deadly time.

3 comments:

  1. Can I ask you a semi-unrelated question that I'm sure you've been asked before?

    Why do you call your boyfriend Daddy?

    No judgment here, I promise!

    ReplyDelete
  2. LOL!!! @Ali, it's just some weird quirky thing that evolved over time. And if you ask him he'll tell you that I act like a little kid and he always has to be the parent in the relationship because of that lol!

    ReplyDelete

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